Wandering

So there were these a people who wandered. They wandered a lot. In the desert. It was hot. Really hot. And dusty. They carried around this big box marked by winged creatures. It had a few stuffs inside. These people wandered around the hot, dusty, desert carrying a few stuffs in a box. (Who are these crazy people?)

These are our ancestors of faith.

You may be wondering a lot of things, among them why the heck we Christians consider a bunch of wandering people who carry a box through the desert our ancestors or maybe why they bother to put braille menus on some drive through windows, but more specifically, what was in the box.

Everyone always wants to know what's in the box. Ask Pandora.

The box was special. In fact, it was so special that the people who carried this thing around raised tents to host the thing. So as they went, they carried the box and when they rested, they built a tent that held the box. (You're kidding me, right?)

No, really! These are our ancestors!

When they raised these tents, they built out special places in them to hold this box. And, since it was special, special people were chosen to wear special clothes and do special things to the special box in the special room. The special clothing included an apron adorned with ornamental pomegranates and golden bells along the hem and semiprecious stones at the shoulders with a bunch of names engraved on them. They also got to wear cool hats. Oh! And they got to bathe frequently because they had to be clean. (Bathe, really?)

Yes, really.

And they did it all because God told them to.

(I'm not gonna ask.)

Seriously.

These are the people who God chose as his own. These are the fore fathers of David, and as such Christ. These are the dudes and babes who will inherit the land. And they did it simply because God told them to.

Yet sin crept behind. It doesn't take much to mess it up (just ask Eve). After all the lallygagging in the desert (okay, so it wasn't really lallygagging), the ancients settled and built a temple in the same style as the tent. They placed the arc of the covenant in the temple in a sacred space. And thy purified and anointed the priests who wore pomegranates to protect and serve Yahweh. Then, Moses departs for forty days. Like a child whose babysitter falls asleep and then gets into trouble, so did the ancients. And what do they do? They make golden calves fully breaking the commandment. This ticks Moses off and, coincidentally, begins the path of the sin of Jeroboam. Nice kick off for the DtrH. Idol worship!

Family Ties, Ancient Style

First off, I think I need this tee to wear to my OT class every Tuesday. (It's available at Think Geek.)

Now, some thoughts on the ancestors of Israel...

1. For years I have expressed the following motto to various Christians as a means to keep in check their spiritual commitment to their vow: Are you willing to give up Isaac? It's a beautiful example of the sacrifices we all have to make when being loyal to God. No doubt Abraham had regrets. I'm not sure it's possible to be human and not. Michael Coogan makes the point that "Abraham and Isaac never speak to each other again, and immediately after it Sarah, who has been absent from the narrative, dies." Abraham, in his immediate state, has been left by his wife, seemingly abandoned by his son, and is left alone because of his faithfulness. From a 21st century perspective, heck yeah I want some of that kind of treatment from my God! Yet, that's exactly what may be required of us: loosing those close to us in service to Him.

2. Circumcision. It seems like the Israelites were circumcised, in part, to distinguish themselves from the Babylonians while in Exile. Course, circumcision was also a right of passage not to mention a preparation for marriage in some cultures. But my 20th century mind cannot help but to get hooked on the idea that our ancients really dug the fact that they were circumcised and their Babylonian captors were not. This leaves me to imagine a number of smirks and chuckles not to mention innuendos that were likely to be available. What? Oh come on! You cannot tell me that our forefathers had no sense of humour!

3. One of the annoying things about a reading assignment when you are in 8th grade is when you get stuck with a book of the Bible that seems to contain nothing but genealogies. So and so begot so and so. Ya-a-a-wn. Any good 8th grader knows to read the first two lines of the list and the last two lines to realize that somehow, David and Jesus were actually connected. What they don't tell the average 12 year old is that these ancestral narratives are endogamy. (Yeah, I didn't get the term either.) Think of it as intermarriage for the purpose of preserving one's community, or more specifically, their identity and property. This is why later on, the people are going to look at Moses and wonder what the heck he was thinking marrying a Midian (never mind the fact that Abraham hooked up with an Egyptian and Esau got cozy with the Canaanites). In fact, it's something that kind of haunts his story among Jews even today as some Jews find it important that they marry other Jews simply to maintain the bloodline. "But Moooooom! Moses did it!" probably isn't a sound case for the average 20 something Jewish female.

4. Lastly, one of the most emotional things for me to come to understand about the Hebrew Bible is that God made some promises to the old folks, and he kept them, however, the old folks all had to die for the promises to be fulfilled. Granted, they brought it on themselves. Honestly, how often must God say, "Do it THIS way. No other way. Not that way. THIS way. Over here. Look. Right THERE. Yes, THIS way!" before we people get it? God promised land, descendants and blessings.

Abraham got land, but it was to bury his wife. Granted it was the right land. And God did eventually provide a lot more land to his descendants, but to Abraham, that's serious faith to stick with a God with not a whole lot of demonstration of fulfillment of his promise. Especially after the whole Isaac episode.

As for descendants, yes, there are some. Plenty actually. But a lot of the women were barren and had to hook up with God so that their wombs would kick in to service.

Lastly, the promise of blessing. Abraham was under the impression that other people out there would long for the kind of blessings he had. You can almost imagine Abraham, at some point in his life saying, "Riiiigggghhhhht." He experiences turmoil for Lot, watches cities rise and fall, has his wife taken into a harem, has turmoil in his house between his wife and household staff, is expected to obey God in sacrificing his own son, his wife dies, his son seemingly doesn't speak to him again, then takes a new wife and apparently concubines, only to die. And those are just the highlights. People did hope for blessings like his and continue to do so to this day. They hope for success for their children. They hope for God's favour. They hope for a better life. And it's God who provides that for them.

Before I go, I say forget the blogging tee. I want this one instead. And yes, it really does glow.

Kicking the Tree of Life

The sexualization of our young people is a constant worry for the elders of our society. The Hip Hop generation, Britney Spears, even good girl Miley Cyrus all draw comments - some good and some bad - about their sexuality. Our society is preoccupied with sex. And no one really knows how much is too much let alone where the line should be drawn for "appropriate" behavior. This is not only an issue in the US, but in various countries (for instance, compare and contrast nudity in Brazil and China).

While I always knew that there elements of sex in Genesis, I am still surprised to see the struggle of the Hebrews to make sense of sexuality. The nature of the creation story seems inspired to reflect themes common to the people of the times. It's not too a far leap to understand why the ancients may have included language reflective of sexual themes. Honestly, there wasn't much to do back in the day for recreation. They didn't have the internet. And what's life without the internet?

It was probably only a matter of time before they started to wonder who (or what) thought up the idea of intercourse. Humanity seems to always want to know "why" as evidenced in the story of Eve and the serpent, for by eating the fruit one will "become like God, knowing good and evil". Which brings us to the word "know". "Knowing" always gets us into trouble. To know the difference between good and evil put Adam and Eve into a pretty bad spot. To know one another suggests a level of sexual intimacy that could be problematic in terms of survival if not committed between one another. Needing to "know" can lead us down unhealthy paths that lead to other sinful behaviors both of commission and omission.

So, does having sex make you knowledgeable? And do we, when having sex (outside the confines of marriage), insult God by seeking knowledge we are not yet meant to have? Do we commit sacrilege by seeking to be God-like in arrogant ways? When we act sinfully do we kick the tree of life and stick out our tongues at God?

A Little Heresy, the Dead Sea Scrolls and Dead Men Who Tell Tales

Being Bible geeks we all love a good read. You know, when we have the time to plug in a little extra between our 480-900 pages a night we have to do for classes. The editors, writers, copy boys and coffee girls of Biblical Archeology offer a list of free download-able books covering a range of topics from the burial of Jesus to the Dead Sea Scrolls. Grab a cup of wine and settle in for some archaic reading.

Here's a little tid bit that may prove to be a very juicy bit of heresy. The National Geographic Channel opens Exploration Week with a new tablet that may offer evidence of a "preexisting messiah" - Simon. From the website:

He called himself the King of the Jews, likely considered to be a Messiah. Just around Passover, the Romans killed him and crucified many of his followers outside Jerusalem. But his name was not Jesus... it was Simon, a self-proclaimed Messiah who died four years before Christ was born. Now, new analysis of a three-foot-tall stone tablet from the first century B.C., may speak of an early Messiah and his resurrection. We'll go to Israel to assess this unique and mysterious artifact, including comprehensive review of the script and content by a Dead Sea Scroll expert. Then, from Jerusalem to Jericho, we'll investigate key archeological ruins that could help prove Simon was indeed real.

Meanwhile the Spaniards have dug up a city along the Euphrates dating 2,600 years before Christ. Not that archeological finds always shake up the roots of our faith but, hey, this one is kinda cool. It's circular. See, that wasn't quite so common in the Euphrates Valley. In fact, this is only the second one found with this kind of layout, the other about 200 km away. Archeologists are comparing the find to Pompeii in significance. See? Dead guys really do tell tales.

E Plus E plus Jezabel plus Ben plus E plus oh wait...

The end of First Kings (and beginning of Second Kings) is filled with stories only a political scientist or adventurer at heart would love. Rise to power, miracles, some Baal worship for fun, bonfire of the bulls, a little slaughter of priests, party at Jezreel and a nice rain shower, greed in the vinyard, political assassination that leads to public death, yeay! Wine!, some more prophecy, all ending in one big circus of war where kings die, kings ascend to power, prophets prophesy, and one old trollop lady gets trompled by horses then eaten by dogs. And that's just Elijah's story.

Who wouldn't love the old testament?

I am constantly amazed at the continual disobedience of the people of Israel. Granted, the warnings were probably not always eminent. But truly, how can a people, chosen by God himself, blessed with promises by covenant with David, who are ensured land for all eternity, forget, especially given everything these people had suffered over the generations. Was the message of God not before them in daily life? If not, why not? And if so, how could one so easily choose to disregard what was known to be true?

Today the message of Christ's love is drowned out by Jay-Z, 50 Cent and Britney Spears (the top three videos on MTV's website as of this moment). Middle aged adults huddle around their brand new HDTVs purchased not for gaming but so that Lou Dobbs or O'Rieley come in crystal clear. Tweens stumble upon themselves to get the newest gear that makes them appear to be the closest thing to a rock star. Young adults wander around bumping into things, their i phones in hand, emailing, tweeting, plurking, surfing, wiki-ing, playing with their dashboard and Djing from their hand held devices. In all the noise, where is God? Were the Ancients like this too? Distracted? Was Baal their version of Apple?

Goth's Night Out

It's so important to learn a foreign language in this global economy. Church Historians may want to start here. (If the video does not load, please visit Gothic For Goths: Episode Three.

Roll da Blog

Every so often people share with me a few internet delights I find worthy of the pass along. For instance, Jason Santa Maria is a graphic designer who lives in New York, teaches at the School of Visual Arts, sits on boards, and does all the typical grown up things grown ups do. He's created a blog that plays with layout in such a way that the content drives the appearance, rather than the appearance driving the content. He fully admits it may not work out for everyone, nor that it's perfectly browser friendly. Maybe that's why he writes on The Mathematics of the Tootsie Pop.

Granted this web site isn't the most beautiful, or even the most exciting (it's all geek stuff). However, it does explore educational uses for the groovy new Google Wave hitting the beta scene as of, well, a while ago. I'm on the much desired roll out list for a much desired invite much to my OMG YES I'M SO EXCITED joy. I've already played with the software and it's pure delight! Okay, it's more like when you move to a new city and discover one day you know how to get to the grocery without a map. THAT kind of joy. (This is when my friends say something like, "Ok. Breathe. Yes, in. Out. You can do this...")

On the less epoch scale, The Biggest Apple is written by an American ex pat living in the UK. Our author studied in New York, has lived in the Netherlands, and occasionally snaps pictures of things he digs. He seems to enjoy music (see The Coward). And he has a delicious sense of humour for curating the collectibles (see Dear Andy). I thank him tremendously for this little video find. (For those of you who are youngin's visit The Warhol to appreciate this letter.)

Mark Boulton is a designer, an author, a speaker, runs a small design agency and publishes books as he goes. The personal disquiet of Mark Boulton is a blog about design and design graphics. Take a peek at the stunning drop caps he had his sister-in-law work up for placeholders.

A Working Library is a blog about reading—both an exploration of and an advocate for the reading experience. Being an aspiring bibliophile, this site makes me drool but maybe not as much as The Biggest Apple. Here's a nice post on the definition of a reader.

Meet Denice. She's your classic nerd. She writes on anything. Really. Anything. She lives in Utah and spends 95% of her time on her Mac. No wonder why she has such a lovely little blog entitled, "Hello! What are you doing here? Did Phil send you?". She blogs things that I like. For instance, would you take the stairs more often if someone made them more fun? I know I would.

Lastly, in the interest of wasting a tremendous amount of time over the period of a year, you can Beat my Brute. Just remember to save your character by entering a password.

Coolness.

Thanks to http://thecasualobserver.net for the borrowed Tootsie Pop image.

Haoles, Locals, and the Big Kahuna

I have spent several weeks attempting to make some sense of the nature of ancient history of the prophets. Seeing the invasions move across a whiteboard in a counterclockwise motion brought meaning to the purpose of the prophets. Finally I was able to put two and two together: the prophets were commentators, orators, messengers, criers and guardians of the people who would suffer attack, loss of lands, homes, family and possessions, time after time, oppressor after oppressor. These prophets helped to interpret what was to happen, why, by whom and how. As such, they seem to me to be comforters. Understanding why a tragedy happens somehow makes it easier to accept, even if you do not accept the causer's motivation of the action.

I suppose this is why I find some ease (finally) in the DtrH history. Like Poland, the territories of Israel expand, shrink, expand, move, return, unsettle and resettle. Isaiah's concerns about the identity of the people make much more sense now. Humans tend to nest and find identity in place. For example, Stephen Fry recently completed a travel documentary entitled Fry in America during which he toured America sharing his British perspective. After a brutally cold hunting expedition for bowhead whales with the Inuits in the most northern part of Alaska, Fry concluded his mini series in Hawaii where he met a man who was a long term ancestral local and resident of Kaua'i as well as a world renowned champion surfer named Titus Kinimaka. They discuss development and haole tourism, and when asked if he considers himself "American", Titus responds, "I am Hawaiian". He speaks not with resentment but with reverence to his heritage which could very easily be pushed out by eminent domain in his lifetime.

The Israelites were a people who laid divine claim to their land, somewhat (but likely without divine compact) like Titus and his family lay claim to theirs. It is no surprise that Isaiah is worried about them getting too cushy in Babylon. Those who treated the Exile as resettlement would find new identity in place. They needed a reminder of their covenant, purpose and home.

Understanding this makes understanding previous eras much more simple. The centralization of worship of the Yahwehists to protect them from the potential Assyrian onslaught may not have been simply a matter of protection. It may have proved to have several uses including an attempt to solidify a "national" identity before the anticipated "punishment" as well as a way to ensure that Yahweh was being worshiped in an appropriate way that would be pleasing to God and not bring further punishment upon their heads.

I can only imagine the sense of desperation Josiah could have felt having this knowledge and being able to only do so much within his earthly confines. Much like Jeremiah, I can imagine him feeling as if he wanted to scream, "Listen to me! The day of the Lord will come! Join us here, worship Him properly, give him due honor! Turn from your sinful ways! Obey the Great Commandment! There are consequences for your actions!!!" Additionally, you can imagine him saying, "Golden calves, really?" The sin of Jeroboam would bring ruin to his people and there wasn't much else he could do about it. Give the Big Hahuna the worship he deserves or we're all going to suffer!

I wonder what others see and feel in Kings. The stories are so rich! I mean honestly, apart from the Lady of the Lake, where else do we see metal float in the written word other than in 2Kings 6:1-7?

By the way, had I read Coogan's chapter on Kings before the last exam I would probably have been much further along in my understanding. I am not sure one can truly appreciate the prophets without having studied the United Monarchy first. It is a matter of context in significance - if one does not understand the significance, the context is jumbled. No wonder I ate it. The lip of the gnarly bomb really axed me. I totally barnwalled the line. Let us hope next time I ride the party wave without a serious wipe out.

For surfing lessons with world champion surfer Titus Kinimaka, visit trykauai.com.

I could not help myself. I must re-post. These are some of the most entertaining cakes I have seen in years! Happy Halloween!

Visit Cake Wrecks, Sunday Sweets.

Dangerous Reflections

Today is Reformation Sunday. Somehow, this snuck up on me. I found myself sitting in worship listening to the words of hope and glory from Paul's letter to the Romans 8:18-30 and thinking of nothing but the prophets. Paul writes, "24 For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

Despite being a wonderful reading for a friend seeking his place in the world, Paul's words of hope echoed to me the assurance delivered by Hosea in chapter 14 to the Israelites of the Northern Kingdom. "7 They shall again live beneath my shadow, they shall flourish as a garden; they shall blossom like the vine, their fragrance shall be like the wine of Lebanon." Despite their nation's sin of breaking the covenant with God, Yahweh chooses to love and restore them. They too, one day, will be whole."

Many people struggle with Hosea. The metaphor he embraces can be painful to hear by those who have suffered certain pains in this world and who have not yet healed from them. Getting past the imagery is a daunting task for some as it may reopen wounds, perhaps even rubbing salt into them. Yet the message of redemption that sits beneath the surface is one so powerful that it could bring healing if understood. I am reminded of the old adage, "What does the devil use for evil? Everything. What does God use for good? Everything." Hosea's words could, when not carefully delivered, be quite damaging to others. Yet, when delivered in the right spirit, could set people free.

We often wonder why we must go through so much work to study the Scriptures. I was recently told by someone that understanding more of the context made "the whole thing" more meaningful, not to mention "make sense". Our clergy should not shy away from passages simply because of the seemingly "dangerous" nature of their message. However, we must absolutely consider the ethics and pastoral care responsibilities to our congregants and the wider society when preaching on all matters, difficult and seemingly simple.

All too often we dismiss these things simply because we know it will take work. We are so busy as it is - congregants in the hospital, youth retreat, fall church dinner, missions, even visiting the "Greens". Yet, sometimes sitting down with a cup of warm goodness and pounding out a difficult text takes you on a much needed spiritual journey that can refine you as a minister regardless of whether or not you chose to use a passage publicly. You never know what windows the Lord may open to you.

Let us all remember that it is His, not ours, (as any good Calvinist would say) on this Reformation Sunday.

Image from City of God's Weekend Fun.

Grammar Nerd

Grammar Geeks unite! Grab the stickers and head off to make this world a more articulate place.

Dig it.

History Repeats Hashbrowns

I am struggling. I am in need of a blog entry for Old Testament and nothing comes to mind other than the fact that I'm lost in the Exile. How many times must I ask myself if Jerusalem is north or south? How often must I double check the geography of the Northern Kingdom? Is it the travesty it seems that I have no clue who Gedaliah is, why he is important? I'm swimming in a pool of acrostic poetry, doggy paddling in lament, and about to be taken under in a dirge.

We have attempted in class to set the time frame in order. More than once. Several times actually. My notes resemble smothered and scattered fries at the Waffle House. The triple order. Smothered. Covered. Chunked. Diced. Peppered. Capped. Topped. In other words, "All the Way" with a sweet tea chaser.

To date, this is the best I can offer...

• Once upon a time there was a kingdom named Israel
• The Assyrians take Israel. (722)
• Then there were two parts (why?) - North and South; Israel and Judah; Samaria and Jerusalem.
• Judah was initially left alone. The Assyrians eventually take Judah, and look towards Jerusalem.
• Jerusalem stood (with water); Hezekiah gave tribute and was left to stand alone.
• Along came Babylon who took Assyria, thereby taking Nineveh. (612)
• People rejoiced! People breathed. There was hope.
  
• Josiah comes along... And does what exactly?
  

David is in there too somewhere, wearing a nice little proverbial crown around 1000. Some sources with nice round capital letters begin to appear somewhere around Josiah. THEN I am ok. The rest looks like this:

• 586/7 Babylonians take Assyrians & Jerusalem; Enter The Exile
• 539 Persia takes Babylon (Cyrus); End of The Exile
• 515 Jews rebuild the second temple
• 332 Enter the Greeks who take Persia (Alexander the Great); Antiochus IV succeeds him
• 167 Antiocus IV desecrates the second temple (and sells off the priest seat); Rumour of his death leads to Maccabean revolt; hellenism instituted
• 164 Antiocus IV kicks the bucket; end of the Maccabean revolt; BIG party in the temple (okay, maybe not IN the temple...)
  

To remember who took whom and when, I created the Gas-Movie System aka B(P)G. Babylon - Persia - Greeks. (BP-PG essentially.) This is a good thing as history repeats itself. At least I can stock up on Craftsman tools for the next temple rebuilding, should my assistance be requested.

But the rest of this - what a mess. Feel free to pass along your two cents. There might just be some hashbrowns in it for you!

Under Fire: Church History in 4 Minutes

I couldn't resist. A child of the '80s (that would be the 1980s), I truly appreciate anything Billy Joel. I mean honestly, the man was a missionary of his musical time. Granted some things were a bit, well, unorthodox... But look what he's inspired!


A big thank you to Hacking Christianity for this one!

Kiwis and Haka

Everyone is excited about football. I dig football. But I also dig rugby. And I really love our Kiwi brothers. ;)

Rugby, Seeing Jesus and the Marines

"Exegesis. It's what we get out of the text."

It wasn't long before students were asking the question "What's up with exegesis? Is it another form of criticism?" A swell of giddiness overcame me because that is the ONE thing I walked away from hermeneutics having learned and learned well (I did this while proudly wearing my I survived Hermeneutics tee). "Wait! I know this one!"

Let me begin by defining Hermeneutics. This is another word I often misspell as I pronounce the word HerMAN-new-tiks. It's probably properly pronounced her-men-ewe-tiks. I claim an accent and declare that no one may criticize (ok, make fun of) me. Hermeneutics is the process of interpreting the Bible. Drs. Klein, Blomberg, and Hubbard, authors of Introduction to Biblical Interpretation (a book I do NOT recommend unless you enjoy feeling as if someone whopped off your head and used it for a riling game of rugby) describe it this way:

Interpretation is neither an art nor a science; it is both a science and an art... interpreters seek to bridge the vast linguistic, historical, social, and cultural gaps that exist between the ancient and modern worlds so that they may understand what texts mean... Hermeneutics provides a strategy that will enable us to understand what an author or speaker intended to communicate.

Doc Lester has plopped into our heads many ways to accomplish this - also known as "approaches" or rather, "forms." He seems to prefer (although not exclusively) the Diachronic Methods (across time) [textual and form criticism, historical linguistics and tradition criticism (which we have not yet covered), source, redaction and historical criticisms]. The other goodies he has brought up fall into the synchronic (close reading) or existential methods (concerning real life; such as literary and narrative criticisms, genre and form analysis, and theological exegesis). Enter exegesis.

It is perhaps easier to understand the importance -- and place -- of exegesis when taken in relation to eisegesis. The "eis" of eisegesis comes from a lovely Greek word meaning "into." We all know that "ex" as in "exit" means "to leave" or "get out of." Given the Doc's definition of exegesis "what we get out of the text" it is a simple jump to eisegesis as in "what we put into the text" or "what we want to see in the text." Most students of hermeneutics remember it this way: "I see Jesus" (because I want to).

So here is the trick: ex- and eis- egesiseseseseses are not criticisms. They are exegetical methods or approaches to criticism. In the words of Michel J. Gorman, author of Elements of Biblical Exegesis (a book worth the read especially as you continue to write exegetical papers throughout your seminary career), "...there are necessary safeguards to ensure that one's exegesis of the Bible is not really eisegesis - reading into the text... A sound exegetical method is one such safeguard." This is why the Doc has us studying all of these seemingly complicated methods and forms. He wants us to get it. And I mean really get it.

We recently read Hosea 2 and broke into small groups to discuss the nature of the text. The exercise was to produce a good habit of studying the text as closely as possible to seek its meaning with a magnifying glass before chickening out and pulling back to look at it with a telescope. Eventually, when done properly (in my opinion) one focuses in at an appropriate distance and finds the real meaning. This is the "art" part of hermeneutics the triad of docs above mentioned in the rugby book. The science part is in the focus. Here is an illustration of exegesis and eisegesis.

Exegesis: The 2nd book of Hosea speaks to a cultural understanding of marriage and the role of women in the 8th century. Additionally, the text speaks to Israel's relationship with God. (Insert details here.)

Eisegesis: The 2nd book of Hosea says that a husband is to control his wife, even going to the extent of stripping her naked and parading her in public or starving her in the wilderness until she obeys him. A good wife would obey her husband under all circumstances and the consequences of not doing so are left to the husband to determine as he sees fit.

Of course, that is an eisegetical reading by a pretty nasty jerk. But, you get my point. He has looked into the text with a preconceived belief and brought with him an understanding of what it means paying no attention to form, content, historical place and time, culture, etc., let alone the author's intended meaning.

Generally this gives students a headache. I have found over the years that most clergy get lazy in their exegesis, mostly because it is hard work and because they fall into patterns of comfortable styles of interpretation which may or may not always be appropriate to the text. However, the skills become second nature if you are able to discipline yourself. It is like running. You start with a block. Then you go around the block. Pretty soon you are running the Marine Corp Marathon and keeping up. Next time, you might even win.

The Original

I have a hard and fast rule: Just because we are Christians doesn't mean we have to be stuffy. I've been known to embrace the occasional Wash Away Your Sins bath bar. I even used the burning Bible once in youth group just to make a point. So long as we laugh, we live. That said, I share this tee cuteness of a discovery: The Original Deep Fat Friar. Get yours Today.

Knee Socks and Sword Hilts

Apparently it pays to wear white knee socks coloured with rings at the top and carry a metal detector in someone else's field. All I could think of was Matthew 13:44 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." Somehow, it all just seemed unethical. Course, I say that not having a cache of biblical and military treasures beneath my manure pile...


Englishman's metal detector finds record treasure trove
Be sure to check out the pics!

Unexplected Blessing

It was time. Enjoy!

Infallible Friends

Job. Poor guy.

One of the remarkable things about his story is the treatment he receives from his so called "friends". His friends are essentially guilty of judgment. I often misspell this word when I first type it because I tend to place the e after the g for that is what it is - the act of being a judge. The problem with that is that without a court (or for that matter, for those who are not omniscient), who can rightly judge all the issues surrounding any given situation? Even our own American court systems are not infallible. They are comprised of unknowing, sinful creatures, sometimes of questionable intention, who (we hope) try to do their best to seek and find justice.

Job didn't really stand a chance. With divine beings and members of the Divine Council playing tiddlywinks with his life, friends who judge, cutting him down and breaking his faithful spirit, it's no wonder he cries for a redeemer. But here is where he went wrong: the Law of Fairness does not supersede God. God himself is the standard of justice. He rules by his own morality, perfect in every way. His actions are always fair, even if we don't understand them. Why? Because on the chess board of life, we can only see our square. We have no idea what's transpiring in C6 when we are hanging out in F2. God sees the whole picture. We see our closest enemies, and sometimes allies.

Unfortunately, the sinfulness of Job's friends - their judgmental attitude - make Job's suffering all the worse. He moves from faithfulness in God (c6-7) to self pity (c9-10) to disbelief (c12-14) to a sense of abandonment and a plea for justice (c16-17) to a cry for a redeemer and a lashing to his friends reminding them that they too will be judged (c19) to a final plea of innocence that is peppered with a sort of clarity recognizing something his friends do not: sometimes the innocent do suffer (21). That last bit I imagine made the isolation worse because it seems Job feels as if no one else understands that tidbit of theology. And that's just the first two cycles of abuse he takes from these so called "friends".

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Clergy should spend time with Job every few months to be reminded of the consequences of a judgmental attitude towards others. I have witnessed in my decade plus of ministry hearts broken, spirits crushed, careers destroyed and even lives ended because of judgment by others. In some cases, had the person simply had one person in their life who refrained from judgment, they may be alive today.

When in grade school we were given the extraordinary task of reading two books of the bible. This was a risqué assignment as Catholics were not encouraged to do such reading without the close supervision of a trained priest. We spent over two months - two hours every day - studying Job. It was one of the most grueling, depressing activities I recall from 8th grade. It was also one of the activities I appreciate most in my adult life.

Without a deep appreciation for suffering without a seemingly just cause I may not be able to compose this entry today. For I too have been subject to unfair judgment and if it were not for the care and compassion of three clergy who spent much time with Job, I may not be standing here today.

With friends like those, I have no enemies.

Tee shirt is available at Zazzle.

Gremlins and Thesis Topics

Don't ever get it wet. Keep it away from bright light. And the most important thing, the one thing you must never forget: no matter how much it cries out, no matter how much it begs . . . never, never feed it after midnight.

These are the words of wisdom given us, the lowly MTS students, in our care and treatment of a thesis topic.

Additional Resources: Care and Feeding of (PhD) Students

A Glass of Brut, Theology and Sports

When you don't have internet access at home, you find relatively creative ways to complete online assignments. In my current case, this involves multi-tasking.

"What?" you wonder? Reading five books, watching a Utah-Oregon game (with a friend watching the Twins n Tigers go at it), blogging, contributing to the wiki and of course, drinking brut all at the local micro brew restaurant.

This is the advantage of wifi in a sports bar with a sports package in a college town.

Recommendation: Two thumbs up.

Honkytonks, Origami and the Bible

“I very much hope you’ve enjoyed listening to this episode, Narrative Criticism. If you have I hope you’ll listen to other episodes in the series, Introducing the Tanak.”

Then, guitar rifts so distinct that they could only be of Brooks and Dunn, confirmed by the lyrics, “She blew through the door like TNT. Put her hand on her hip and point a finger at me. Said: I’m a whiskey drinkin’, cowboy chasin’, helluva time. I like Kenny, Keith, Allan and Patsy Cline. I’m a full grown, queen bee, lookin’ for honey. Ha-ooh-hoo! aw, play somethin’ country!”

Thus the results of arranging your iTunes catalog by artist when your professor’s name begins with “Bro”.

Most are wondering what the heck Brooks & Dunn has to do with the nature of Narrative Criticism. And some of you are just wondering why the heck I have a country song mixed into my playlist. They really do have something to do with each other. No, really! This is not just a bad excuse for twang mixed in with Brownie Mary, Morcheeba, Jack Johnson, Depeche Mode, Bud Powell and the Dub Pistols.

One of the many components of narrative criticism is the concept of various narrative bits having purpose in some composed bit of literature. In other words, the plot actually means something and it is placed there, right there, specifically, with purpose. The characters are there for a reason, just as they are presented. The woman sits, spinning in the corner, right when she does, right where she does, just because she is meant to do so in that time, place and part of the story. Same could be said of the whiskey drinking, cowboy chasing, hell of a time so gracefully described with such eloquence by B&D.

Now, who decides all of that can be rather difficult to understand – a bit like holding wet, melting jello. Is it the author who decides the meaning? How about the deliverer of the story – the narrator? Or maybe the hearer gets to throw his or her two cents in, bringing experience and preconceptions and all of humanity to his or her understanding? Certainly the Queen Bees of Country have an appreciation for storming a bar that I would not (although I may be able to draw some parallel to arriving at a retro rewind dance party but it may depend on the musical sub genre and the tightness of my vinyl pants…).

Complicate matters by the literary breakdown of such things as plot (a woman who loves country?), theme (the honkytonk lifestyle?), style (impassioned), figures of speech (yes, “hell of a time” does get around), symbolism (Queen Bee), motifs (best I can do here is neon beer lights… sorry), characterizations (yes, big hair), repetition (I think she wants them to play something country but I cannot be sure), point of view (honestly, you have to ask?), foreshadowing (depending on preconceptions and or theme I might suggest…), speed of time in narrative (they did say TNT…) and all the rest of the goodies that make the literary types do a happy dance in their dreams, their pencils twirling across multi coloured pieces of paper that miraculously turn into origami birds flying across a sea to depict the freedom of the written word. (Somewhere MC Echer is delighted.)

All this is delightful when deconstructing some meaning in The Notebook. But when it comes to a text so great as The Word, we run the risk of getting it all wrong. And everyone knows when we get it wrong in religion. It leads to war.

Not to add any undue pressure to my already confused, stressed out and hazy classmates, but get the interpretation of the Bible wrong and you will start a war. As Christians, we generally consider this to be a bad thing.

Machiavelli would be so disappointed.

After years of batting Hermeneutics around like a cat toy, because, you know, playing with toys is grounds for sound academic conclusions, I have decided that the best approach is to tear apart the Bible in a way that considers ALL appropriate criticisms to that given bit of text; consider the genres, the history, the socio economic influences, purposes, intentions, messages, meanings, symbolism and all the rest as appropriate to what you have at hand (or in this case, eye).

In other words, read it.

Image by Roman Diaz

Revisionist Theology

Many folks don't know xkcd well. Here's to the cult phenomenon of stick figures.

I shall write, but only cause he made me

When you are a blogger, as in, one who blogs for fun (in my case, under several pseudonyms), what happens when a professor of yours turns to you and says “You will be graded upon your weekly blog"?

Sorry Doc, but you just took the fun out of my fun palace!

This little number will probably not count as it covers not the topic at hand. For this I am grateful as I suspect he is an articulate man of grammar, language and precision. Of course, these said skills are in Hebrew. But I imagine some of that seeps out into the English language as well.

I must however admit that I was not looking forward to this gentleman’s class. Let me be clear that I am excited about the class content. I simply was not excited about him. I know you are dying to know exactly why.

Okay fine, I will tell you.

But only because you begged.

Preconceptions are lame things, especially in Biblical interpretation. When we bring something to the text and read into it what may or may not be there, we kinda risk missing the whole point of the author. I admit that I did this with his syllabus. The thing reads like a legal contract, establishing the grounds upon which we will proceed academically in the classroom, the agreements made between professor and student in this arrangement we call a learning atmosphere. This approach made me think this man was either a lawyer (or of a family of them) or a guy with a chip on his shoulder so big that it made him angry and forced him to take out his insecurities on the rest of us poor grad students with broken tipped pencils and loose leaf paper as spiral notebooks are a splurge on a grad-student budget.

I am not sure which is worse, lawyer or angry lawyer-like guy.

This is why I was so surprised to hear at lunch that this guy is actually liked. Really really liked.

This is also why I was absolutely not surprised to hear that I just entered into the most difficult class available but that I should be fine so long as I do what I am told. *staring blankly* Me. Do what I am told. That’s a funny one. This was obviously said by one who does no know me very well.

That all said, the Doc has a great sense of humour, appears to either have some theatrical passions or is the youngest in his family, is indeed articulate, thorough and most certainly passionate. All these traits I admire and I have a positive attitude towards my future learning experience with him. For the record, I say this earnestly and not just because he will likely read this within the next couple of days.

You know, just so long as he isn’t REALLY a lawyer.

Dis-orientation

When one becomes oriented you hope they have a sense of where they are on a map, in a project or among a new group. They are no longer dizzy, lost, nor alone. When oriented, you become in tune with your surroundings and with how things work. I am reminded of a time when practicing search and rescue techniques, I was dumped into the middle of a great forest (also known as a local park – the kids playground was 100 yards off to the west). Left blindfolded, at night, without a moon, but with a compass, a bottle of water and beef jerky I was to practice using senses and skill to find my way. This would not have been an issue had I known I was in the park with said playground 100 yards off to said east, had I not been driven for two hours, had I had some light, and had it not been raining in a sleeting kind of way. You know, had I been in

Of course, as one may become orientated one may also become disoriented. Disorientation happens when one becomes confused about, well, frankly, anything. Yes, anything. A child whose mother says “No, you may not have the Hanna Montana mini BMW that has a V-8, custom paint job, leather interior, specialized cup holders and pull down mirrors complete with Hanna Montana makeup built ins and a pair of matching pink Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses” is often disoriented when her expectations were crushed by her parental unit.

Then there is the ACT of orienting – when one, or many ones, gather together to yank you out of your confused, lost, disoriented state, sit you down and explain things to you and show you stuff. This act is designed, in addition to helping you become oriented, to calm the nerves, and hopefully when done well, to help you feel welcome.

As such, I was recently oriented. Graduate schools are interesting places when you have not attended a level of really really higher learning. (I use two reallys here as “higher learning” usually applies to “college” so really really higher seems appropriate…) In really really higher learning your parents are not there to sign away their retirement in tuition, board, a new car, and your custom vintage Smurf comforter you have to have because it is just SO COOL. In higher higher learning it is you signing away your paychecks for the next 20+ years so you can have ramen noodles, free wi fi and a vintage bicycle in not-so-mint condition and your kids, should you have any, hear that they cannot have a Hanna Montana mini BMW with which to play.

This changes things, especially for those who are new to the game.

You are probably wondering just how my orientation went. So a few thoughts…

1. I survived.
   
2. I met some groovy folks.


3. I discovered that I really really want a set of those Hanna Montana custom make up mirrors built into my vehicle but tricked out with leather and stocked with MAC and a variety of other fine makeup purveyors.

Welcome to the new class my friends. It’s a long ride.

Athiest Day

A delightful little ditty provided by my step grandmother. Lovely little gem!

FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY!

In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays." The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."

The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'
Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned.