Bell's Hell

I never post enough. I'm sorry. So it's with great joy I offer the commentary of one professor of Church History (among other things) on Rob Bell's new book Love Wins. Dr. John Byron, author of The Biblical World blog, reviews Bell's work in a series of posts, the second of which is the most interesting as of this writing.

Enjoy, Love Wins: My Thoughts on an Attempt at Asking some Important Questions (Part II).

Bible, In Context

Thanks to Allan Bevere for sharing this nice little clip by N.T. Wright on understanding the Bible in context. Good stuff!

Computers are Like Old Testament Gods

'Tis not every day this student is invited to serve as an aid for an Old Testament class. Perhaps that is why I am enjoying the work so very much despite the technical issues for some students who are learning to master the servant of software in the battlefield of ones and zeros. For them, I offer these thoughts from great thinkers of our time.

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. ~Joseph Campbell

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ~Doug Larson

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. ~Author Unknown

But they are useless. They can only give you answers. ~Pablo Picasso, about computers

In God we trust, all others we virus scan. ~Author Unknown

Rebooting is a wonder drug - it fixes almost everything. ~Garrett Hazel, "Help Desk Blues," 2002

Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups. ~Author Unknown

There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. ~Guy Almes


And a little poetry...

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
~Suzie Wagner, 1998

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
~David Dixon, 1998, winning entry of the Haiku Error Messages 21st Challenge by Charlie Varon and Jim Rosenau, sponsored by Salon.com

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
~Margaret Segall, 1998

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
~Peter Rothman, 1998

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
~David J. Liszewski, 1998

Lastly, "If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done." ~Scott Adams. *snicker*

A "Thank you!" to QuoteGarden!

It's Official! I'm a TANAK Techno Geek!

As I dig through the pile of texts on atrocity and human agency (not to mention free will and doctrine of humanity), I received a spiffy little email from one Dr. Brooke Lester informing me that I have been selected by the faculty committee of OT distance learning (consisting only of said Lester) to serve as assistant to a summer course. This is exciting news especially as all I have really ever wanted to do was teach. Okay, and maybe bring about world peace. But now really is not the time to discuss it. Popcorn?

That all said, we should be seeing some newbies pop in here in a bit. Those brave enough to wander by the Blogfire of the Vanities, I welcome you. May the links on the right be helpful in your quest to make sense of Coogan and to order your time line. If it helps, this photo depicts my time line and is the result of a semester of work that now hangs in my dining room. My boyfriend attempted to touch a sticky once... he now is without two fingers. Meanwhile, my adviser tells me that The Sticky should not be allowed in a graduate student's life. I have since made arrangements for an armed guard to stand watch in the event of any funny business. (Even the critter walks to the other side of the dining room table now. Wise critter.)

Rabbi Herman Schaalman once commented that one cannot be a Christian without first being a Jew. With my deep appreciation for the Hebrew Bible, I cannot agree more. For it is in understanding the Old Testament that we come to appreciate the depth and richness of Christ's life and resurrection. My hope for all new OT students is that you will come to love our origins and find inspiration in our Christian story, driving you closer to the fullness of Christ. May you all be blessed!

Family Ties, Ancient Style

First off, I think I need this tee to wear to my OT class every Tuesday. (It's available at Think Geek.)

Now, some thoughts on the ancestors of Israel...

1. For years I have expressed the following motto to various Christians as a means to keep in check their spiritual commitment to their vow: Are you willing to give up Isaac? It's a beautiful example of the sacrifices we all have to make when being loyal to God. No doubt Abraham had regrets. I'm not sure it's possible to be human and not. Michael Coogan makes the point that "Abraham and Isaac never speak to each other again, and immediately after it Sarah, who has been absent from the narrative, dies." Abraham, in his immediate state, has been left by his wife, seemingly abandoned by his son, and is left alone because of his faithfulness. From a 21st century perspective, heck yeah I want some of that kind of treatment from my God! Yet, that's exactly what may be required of us: loosing those close to us in service to Him.

2. Circumcision. It seems like the Israelites were circumcised, in part, to distinguish themselves from the Babylonians while in Exile. Course, circumcision was also a right of passage not to mention a preparation for marriage in some cultures. But my 20th century mind cannot help but to get hooked on the idea that our ancients really dug the fact that they were circumcised and their Babylonian captors were not. This leaves me to imagine a number of smirks and chuckles not to mention innuendos that were likely to be available. What? Oh come on! You cannot tell me that our forefathers had no sense of humour!

3. One of the annoying things about a reading assignment when you are in 8th grade is when you get stuck with a book of the Bible that seems to contain nothing but genealogies. So and so begot so and so. Ya-a-a-wn. Any good 8th grader knows to read the first two lines of the list and the last two lines to realize that somehow, David and Jesus were actually connected. What they don't tell the average 12 year old is that these ancestral narratives are endogamy. (Yeah, I didn't get the term either.) Think of it as intermarriage for the purpose of preserving one's community, or more specifically, their identity and property. This is why later on, the people are going to look at Moses and wonder what the heck he was thinking marrying a Midian (never mind the fact that Abraham hooked up with an Egyptian and Esau got cozy with the Canaanites). In fact, it's something that kind of haunts his story among Jews even today as some Jews find it important that they marry other Jews simply to maintain the bloodline. "But Moooooom! Moses did it!" probably isn't a sound case for the average 20 something Jewish female.

4. Lastly, one of the most emotional things for me to come to understand about the Hebrew Bible is that God made some promises to the old folks, and he kept them, however, the old folks all had to die for the promises to be fulfilled. Granted, they brought it on themselves. Honestly, how often must God say, "Do it THIS way. No other way. Not that way. THIS way. Over here. Look. Right THERE. Yes, THIS way!" before we people get it? God promised land, descendants and blessings.

Abraham got land, but it was to bury his wife. Granted it was the right land. And God did eventually provide a lot more land to his descendants, but to Abraham, that's serious faith to stick with a God with not a whole lot of demonstration of fulfillment of his promise. Especially after the whole Isaac episode.

As for descendants, yes, there are some. Plenty actually. But a lot of the women were barren and had to hook up with God so that their wombs would kick in to service.

Lastly, the promise of blessing. Abraham was under the impression that other people out there would long for the kind of blessings he had. You can almost imagine Abraham, at some point in his life saying, "Riiiigggghhhhht." He experiences turmoil for Lot, watches cities rise and fall, has his wife taken into a harem, has turmoil in his house between his wife and household staff, is expected to obey God in sacrificing his own son, his wife dies, his son seemingly doesn't speak to him again, then takes a new wife and apparently concubines, only to die. And those are just the highlights. People did hope for blessings like his and continue to do so to this day. They hope for success for their children. They hope for God's favour. They hope for a better life. And it's God who provides that for them.

Before I go, I say forget the blogging tee. I want this one instead. And yes, it really does glow.

A Little Heresy, the Dead Sea Scrolls and Dead Men Who Tell Tales

Being Bible geeks we all love a good read. You know, when we have the time to plug in a little extra between our 480-900 pages a night we have to do for classes. The editors, writers, copy boys and coffee girls of Biblical Archeology offer a list of free download-able books covering a range of topics from the burial of Jesus to the Dead Sea Scrolls. Grab a cup of wine and settle in for some archaic reading.

Here's a little tid bit that may prove to be a very juicy bit of heresy. The National Geographic Channel opens Exploration Week with a new tablet that may offer evidence of a "preexisting messiah" - Simon. From the website:

He called himself the King of the Jews, likely considered to be a Messiah. Just around Passover, the Romans killed him and crucified many of his followers outside Jerusalem. But his name was not Jesus... it was Simon, a self-proclaimed Messiah who died four years before Christ was born. Now, new analysis of a three-foot-tall stone tablet from the first century B.C., may speak of an early Messiah and his resurrection. We'll go to Israel to assess this unique and mysterious artifact, including comprehensive review of the script and content by a Dead Sea Scroll expert. Then, from Jerusalem to Jericho, we'll investigate key archeological ruins that could help prove Simon was indeed real.

Meanwhile the Spaniards have dug up a city along the Euphrates dating 2,600 years before Christ. Not that archeological finds always shake up the roots of our faith but, hey, this one is kinda cool. It's circular. See, that wasn't quite so common in the Euphrates Valley. In fact, this is only the second one found with this kind of layout, the other about 200 km away. Archeologists are comparing the find to Pompeii in significance. See? Dead guys really do tell tales.

Dangerous Reflections

Today is Reformation Sunday. Somehow, this snuck up on me. I found myself sitting in worship listening to the words of hope and glory from Paul's letter to the Romans 8:18-30 and thinking of nothing but the prophets. Paul writes, "24 For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."

Despite being a wonderful reading for a friend seeking his place in the world, Paul's words of hope echoed to me the assurance delivered by Hosea in chapter 14 to the Israelites of the Northern Kingdom. "7 They shall again live beneath my shadow, they shall flourish as a garden; they shall blossom like the vine, their fragrance shall be like the wine of Lebanon." Despite their nation's sin of breaking the covenant with God, Yahweh chooses to love and restore them. They too, one day, will be whole."

Many people struggle with Hosea. The metaphor he embraces can be painful to hear by those who have suffered certain pains in this world and who have not yet healed from them. Getting past the imagery is a daunting task for some as it may reopen wounds, perhaps even rubbing salt into them. Yet the message of redemption that sits beneath the surface is one so powerful that it could bring healing if understood. I am reminded of the old adage, "What does the devil use for evil? Everything. What does God use for good? Everything." Hosea's words could, when not carefully delivered, be quite damaging to others. Yet, when delivered in the right spirit, could set people free.

We often wonder why we must go through so much work to study the Scriptures. I was recently told by someone that understanding more of the context made "the whole thing" more meaningful, not to mention "make sense". Our clergy should not shy away from passages simply because of the seemingly "dangerous" nature of their message. However, we must absolutely consider the ethics and pastoral care responsibilities to our congregants and the wider society when preaching on all matters, difficult and seemingly simple.

All too often we dismiss these things simply because we know it will take work. We are so busy as it is - congregants in the hospital, youth retreat, fall church dinner, missions, even visiting the "Greens". Yet, sometimes sitting down with a cup of warm goodness and pounding out a difficult text takes you on a much needed spiritual journey that can refine you as a minister regardless of whether or not you chose to use a passage publicly. You never know what windows the Lord may open to you.

Let us all remember that it is His, not ours, (as any good Calvinist would say) on this Reformation Sunday.

Image from City of God's Weekend Fun.

Infallible Friends

Job. Poor guy.

One of the remarkable things about his story is the treatment he receives from his so called "friends". His friends are essentially guilty of judgment. I often misspell this word when I first type it because I tend to place the e after the g for that is what it is - the act of being a judge. The problem with that is that without a court (or for that matter, for those who are not omniscient), who can rightly judge all the issues surrounding any given situation? Even our own American court systems are not infallible. They are comprised of unknowing, sinful creatures, sometimes of questionable intention, who (we hope) try to do their best to seek and find justice.

Job didn't really stand a chance. With divine beings and members of the Divine Council playing tiddlywinks with his life, friends who judge, cutting him down and breaking his faithful spirit, it's no wonder he cries for a redeemer. But here is where he went wrong: the Law of Fairness does not supersede God. God himself is the standard of justice. He rules by his own morality, perfect in every way. His actions are always fair, even if we don't understand them. Why? Because on the chess board of life, we can only see our square. We have no idea what's transpiring in C6 when we are hanging out in F2. God sees the whole picture. We see our closest enemies, and sometimes allies.

Unfortunately, the sinfulness of Job's friends - their judgmental attitude - make Job's suffering all the worse. He moves from faithfulness in God (c6-7) to self pity (c9-10) to disbelief (c12-14) to a sense of abandonment and a plea for justice (c16-17) to a cry for a redeemer and a lashing to his friends reminding them that they too will be judged (c19) to a final plea of innocence that is peppered with a sort of clarity recognizing something his friends do not: sometimes the innocent do suffer (21). That last bit I imagine made the isolation worse because it seems Job feels as if no one else understands that tidbit of theology. And that's just the first two cycles of abuse he takes from these so called "friends".

With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Clergy should spend time with Job every few months to be reminded of the consequences of a judgmental attitude towards others. I have witnessed in my decade plus of ministry hearts broken, spirits crushed, careers destroyed and even lives ended because of judgment by others. In some cases, had the person simply had one person in their life who refrained from judgment, they may be alive today.

When in grade school we were given the extraordinary task of reading two books of the bible. This was a risqué assignment as Catholics were not encouraged to do such reading without the close supervision of a trained priest. We spent over two months - two hours every day - studying Job. It was one of the most grueling, depressing activities I recall from 8th grade. It was also one of the activities I appreciate most in my adult life.

Without a deep appreciation for suffering without a seemingly just cause I may not be able to compose this entry today. For I too have been subject to unfair judgment and if it were not for the care and compassion of three clergy who spent much time with Job, I may not be standing here today.

With friends like those, I have no enemies.

Tee shirt is available at Zazzle.

Honkytonks, Origami and the Bible

“I very much hope you’ve enjoyed listening to this episode, Narrative Criticism. If you have I hope you’ll listen to other episodes in the series, Introducing the Tanak.”

Then, guitar rifts so distinct that they could only be of Brooks and Dunn, confirmed by the lyrics, “She blew through the door like TNT. Put her hand on her hip and point a finger at me. Said: I’m a whiskey drinkin’, cowboy chasin’, helluva time. I like Kenny, Keith, Allan and Patsy Cline. I’m a full grown, queen bee, lookin’ for honey. Ha-ooh-hoo! aw, play somethin’ country!”

Thus the results of arranging your iTunes catalog by artist when your professor’s name begins with “Bro”.

Most are wondering what the heck Brooks & Dunn has to do with the nature of Narrative Criticism. And some of you are just wondering why the heck I have a country song mixed into my playlist. They really do have something to do with each other. No, really! This is not just a bad excuse for twang mixed in with Brownie Mary, Morcheeba, Jack Johnson, Depeche Mode, Bud Powell and the Dub Pistols.

One of the many components of narrative criticism is the concept of various narrative bits having purpose in some composed bit of literature. In other words, the plot actually means something and it is placed there, right there, specifically, with purpose. The characters are there for a reason, just as they are presented. The woman sits, spinning in the corner, right when she does, right where she does, just because she is meant to do so in that time, place and part of the story. Same could be said of the whiskey drinking, cowboy chasing, hell of a time so gracefully described with such eloquence by B&D.

Now, who decides all of that can be rather difficult to understand – a bit like holding wet, melting jello. Is it the author who decides the meaning? How about the deliverer of the story – the narrator? Or maybe the hearer gets to throw his or her two cents in, bringing experience and preconceptions and all of humanity to his or her understanding? Certainly the Queen Bees of Country have an appreciation for storming a bar that I would not (although I may be able to draw some parallel to arriving at a retro rewind dance party but it may depend on the musical sub genre and the tightness of my vinyl pants…).

Complicate matters by the literary breakdown of such things as plot (a woman who loves country?), theme (the honkytonk lifestyle?), style (impassioned), figures of speech (yes, “hell of a time” does get around), symbolism (Queen Bee), motifs (best I can do here is neon beer lights… sorry), characterizations (yes, big hair), repetition (I think she wants them to play something country but I cannot be sure), point of view (honestly, you have to ask?), foreshadowing (depending on preconceptions and or theme I might suggest…), speed of time in narrative (they did say TNT…) and all the rest of the goodies that make the literary types do a happy dance in their dreams, their pencils twirling across multi coloured pieces of paper that miraculously turn into origami birds flying across a sea to depict the freedom of the written word. (Somewhere MC Echer is delighted.)

All this is delightful when deconstructing some meaning in The Notebook. But when it comes to a text so great as The Word, we run the risk of getting it all wrong. And everyone knows when we get it wrong in religion. It leads to war.

Not to add any undue pressure to my already confused, stressed out and hazy classmates, but get the interpretation of the Bible wrong and you will start a war. As Christians, we generally consider this to be a bad thing.

Machiavelli would be so disappointed.

After years of batting Hermeneutics around like a cat toy, because, you know, playing with toys is grounds for sound academic conclusions, I have decided that the best approach is to tear apart the Bible in a way that considers ALL appropriate criticisms to that given bit of text; consider the genres, the history, the socio economic influences, purposes, intentions, messages, meanings, symbolism and all the rest as appropriate to what you have at hand (or in this case, eye).

In other words, read it.

Image by Roman Diaz

I shall write, but only cause he made me

When you are a blogger, as in, one who blogs for fun (in my case, under several pseudonyms), what happens when a professor of yours turns to you and says “You will be graded upon your weekly blog"?

Sorry Doc, but you just took the fun out of my fun palace!

This little number will probably not count as it covers not the topic at hand. For this I am grateful as I suspect he is an articulate man of grammar, language and precision. Of course, these said skills are in Hebrew. But I imagine some of that seeps out into the English language as well.

I must however admit that I was not looking forward to this gentleman’s class. Let me be clear that I am excited about the class content. I simply was not excited about him. I know you are dying to know exactly why.

Okay fine, I will tell you.

But only because you begged.

Preconceptions are lame things, especially in Biblical interpretation. When we bring something to the text and read into it what may or may not be there, we kinda risk missing the whole point of the author. I admit that I did this with his syllabus. The thing reads like a legal contract, establishing the grounds upon which we will proceed academically in the classroom, the agreements made between professor and student in this arrangement we call a learning atmosphere. This approach made me think this man was either a lawyer (or of a family of them) or a guy with a chip on his shoulder so big that it made him angry and forced him to take out his insecurities on the rest of us poor grad students with broken tipped pencils and loose leaf paper as spiral notebooks are a splurge on a grad-student budget.

I am not sure which is worse, lawyer or angry lawyer-like guy.

This is why I was so surprised to hear at lunch that this guy is actually liked. Really really liked.

This is also why I was absolutely not surprised to hear that I just entered into the most difficult class available but that I should be fine so long as I do what I am told. *staring blankly* Me. Do what I am told. That’s a funny one. This was obviously said by one who does no know me very well.

That all said, the Doc has a great sense of humour, appears to either have some theatrical passions or is the youngest in his family, is indeed articulate, thorough and most certainly passionate. All these traits I admire and I have a positive attitude towards my future learning experience with him. For the record, I say this earnestly and not just because he will likely read this within the next couple of days.

You know, just so long as he isn’t REALLY a lawyer.